Lambert

Chronicles from the Flat Baseline Society

Over-Saturation

Professor Beer was reviewing a graph and noticed a massive, flat-topped peak that maxed out the software's scale. He looked over at the lab bench.
Lambert had eaten an entire box of dog treats and was now lying flat on his back, snoring loudly.
Professor Beer sighed, pointed at the screen, and told Vis, "Look at this. Lambert has officially exceeded his maximum linear range and reached total detector saturation."

Beer’s LawLambertProf Beer

The Cleanroom Violation

Lambert walked straight past the "Strictly No Food" sign and into the spectroscopy suite carrying a massive, messy peanut butter bone.
Professor Beer threw his hands in the air. "Lambert! You are introducing massive organic contamination into a pristine optical environment!"
Lambert casually trotted past, wagging his tail. "Relax, Professor. I already calibrated my paws. This is a certified reference material."

LambertProf Beer
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